Epiduo Hell

So…I’ve been missing in action for a few weeks. This is not great for a beginner blogger. There are some good reasons though- one of which I will disclose today, another in tomorrow’s post. These last two weeks, I’ve been spiraling.  My vanity knows no bounds, and I am almost ashamed to commit these thoughts to the world wide web, but this is my blog, and I should be honest here of all places.  I’ve had a really hard battle with my PCOS  and endometriosis over the last 3 years since diagnosis. I have a great reproductive endocrinologist who performed an amazingly painful surgery on me, and since then I have been on a prescription of various medications to regulate insulin resistance, overstimulated hair growth and all the various other wonders that come along with it. One of the hardest things for me to accept was the fact that it may be very difficult, if not impossible, for me to ever conceive children naturally, if at all.

All this is to say that recently I had begun to turn a corner with this awful disorder (or so I thought).  Last week, I began to get awful pains in my stomach. Mum feared appendicitis so she booked me into the GP quick smart. It turns out that this is nothing so sinister. Mr GP (or should I say Doctor GP) believes that I may be having some cysts re-growing on my benighted ovaries. So this is problem number one for me on this day. Problem number two: the return of pre pubescent acne on my face.  At very nearly 25 years of age, I feel that I am too old to be taking acne lying down. I know there are worse things in the world, but I freely admit to my vanity, so I asked the GP what to do for my face. He suggested a product called Epiduo which is a topical gel containing pretty high levels of adapalene and benzoyl peroxide. It basically burns the acne off your face by causing your skin to peel in hideous fashions. Sounds good, right? I gleefully left with my prescription- and thank you Medibank for the generous 27 cent PBS reduction- and proceeded to use it exactly to the specifications on the box. Fast forward 2 days and my skin is clearing nicely. 6 days later, and anything I put on my face is stinging- cleanser, moisturizer, makeup- even the very hypoallergenic products. I also cleverly decided in the midst of this agony to wax my lip, ripping off layers of skin in the process. Fun times in my casa, for sure. This morning, after a night spent in pain, I wake up to swollen eyes, a decided lack of cheekbones and a bright red rash all over my cheeks and under my eyes. It was a misery of a day for me, the plan was to call in sick, but I had a meeting (which was CANCELLED, after all) so I soldiered on in pain. When I say pain, I mean, rip your face off with your fingernails because even air blowing on your face is painful, type of pain. I made an appointment to see the GP, who assured me that this was NORMAL- that I had probably burned off the epidermis layer of my skin and that the abraded nerve endings of my dermis were causing the pain and swelling. I don’t feel too awesome about having nerve endings on my face exposed, let me tell you. The treatment is simple; no epiduo, no skincare and no makeup for a week, as well as applying cortisone cream to my face at many times throughout the day. To this I said “Not going to happen”. There is no way I am going all week without makeup…so I was advised to wash it off ASAP, using only water. I am not sure the Doc understands the type of makeup we are dealing with, but whatever.

All this is really only to explain why I have felt too miserable to blog. My second lame excuse will come later in the week. Hope all is good in the blogiverse

xox A

For lack of a better title...

I have been an absentee blogger lately, I realise. It's hard for me to work out what I want to say, sometimes- and the fact that anyone might actually want to read what I have to say is another thing that baffles me.

So for my two (2!!) followers, I just want you to know that while my last post was all very very true, it was also all a little bit tongue in cheek, with the goal of being amusing. I am in no way as conceited as my last post might have led you to believe.

I'm tossing up exactly how much of my life I want to (or even should) reveal at this point. There are a few things that I guess aren't going to be too damaging, so I might do what I've seen around the blogosphere lately and post 25 random facts- so here goes:

25 Random Things About Me

1. I have an unusual first name. My entire childhood was spent in a state of correcting people about pronunciation or explaining the ethnic origins of my name. As a child, I hated it. As an adult, I've embraced my name and think it totally "suits" me.

2. I love stationery. Officeworks is like Disneyland to me. I often buy items I don't even need just because I get so excited about the idea of shopping the aisles. Sometimes I wish I lived there, surrounded by planners and 3 ring binders.

3. Potatoes are my favourite food. Mashed potatoes, specifically, and would be in heaven if a calorie-free version was genetically engineered.

4. I try to eat as natural and unprocessed as possible, but I would gladly make an exception for the above-mentioned dream potatoes.

5. My little sister is my hero. She is the most determined, hard-working and motivated person I know.

6. I have a million decorating and home-organization books, yet I don't own my own home- I live with my Dad for goodness sake.

7. Shopping is my therapy. I spend too much money on things I don't need- but hey, it's better than seeing a shrink, right?

8. I have severe polycystic ovarian syndrome. Because of this I gained 25 kilograms in one year, which I have since lost, painstakingly, over the course of over 2 and a half years.

9. I am not known to be overly emotional, yet I cry whenever I watch any Johnson's advertisements involving babies.

10. The two most memorable moments of my life were becoming a big sister for the first time, and then being told that my second sister was stillborn. I remember both of these moments with absolute clarity, which is odd, given that I was 3 and 6 at those times. I still can't discuss my sister's death with my father, though Mum and I visit her grave on her birthday every year.

11. In the last twelve hours, literally, I have become terrified of aging. I saw a wrinkle next to my eye when I smiled last night, and I'm now certain that I need eye cream, or botox, or both.

12. I have not had a real "boyfriend" for almost 10 months. I have had 2 serious relationships in my life and both lasted for less than 6 months- but I'm not a serial dater. the gloss just seems to wear off too soon.

13. I'm pretty worried that I am never going to meet a man, get married and have babies. I logically know it's insane because I'm only 24 (but 25 is looming), but it still preys on my mind.

14. I have a HUGE family. My immediate family is tiny but we make enough noise to fill a house ten times over, but my extended family is enormous, loud, happy and all together crazy, and I love it.

15. I have smoked 3 packs of cigarettes in my life. I don't know or understand why, especially considering my grandfather died of cancer and my baby cousin narrowly survived leukemia.

16. I'm really pedantic about spelling and grammar. Ever since I was young, I have had a weird talent of knowing how words are spelled, even if I have never heard or seen them before. I see words, in their entirety, in my head.(Ironically, I had to edit this one for a spelling mistake! Ain't that always the way)

17. I take a book everywhere. You never know when your car might break down, or where you might get stuck waiting, so it pays to be prepared with a good read.

18. I have the best friends in the world. One I've known my whole life, two I have been friends with since my first day or Kindergarten and one I have known since my first day in High School. We all still live near each other and hang out whenever time permits- although since we are all dispersing at a fast rate, it might not be happening as often in future.

19. I can’t wait till the day I buy my first house. Years of getting ready with the above mentioned decorating books and magazines have built the level of excitement up. Now i just need to decide on a "style". And maybe stop spending and save a deposit :) 

20. I tend to not wear lipstick during the day. I don't know why, I just feel odd. My mother constantly harangues me about my "bare" lips looking washy and corpse-like.

21. When I was little I fell over and broke my toe at my first ballet concert. It was literally on my first step onstage, and like a little trooper, I danced the whole concert with a broken big toe.

22. I’ve never really been into the clubbing scene. Maybe I haven't been anywhere I like yet, but there are so many more places I would rather be on a weekend.

23. I love sad books, but hate sad movies. I'd rather watch a horror flick with some girl getting her guts sprayed everywhere. I'll read True Crime but I hate horror/thriller novels. I just find them too scary. Weird, right?

24. I am a big fan of sending letters in the regular mail. I like sending old-timey "Thank you" letters for gifts because I think it means a lot to people to know that you went to the effort of buying a card, writing in it, stamping the envelope and journeying to the post office/post box to post it. It's fair payment for a considerate gift, in my eyes.

25. I read constantly. I have a huge collection of books, and occasionally in a rare decluttering moment will take a heap to a second-hand bookshop, where I will be paid for them (in an amount that is far far less than what they cost) and will use that money to buy more books.

I'm pretty sure that I am weird- but you know what- that's totally okay with me.

The beginning of the story

So, I guess I'm writing this blog for me, primarily, and then I guess whoever wants to read it- hopefully someone will.
Who am I?

I'm a trained lawyer who decided to pack in all her cases and texts to become a public service employee (the nature of which will not yet be disclosed, but I can assure you is in no way related to my Law or Marketing degrees). I'm the first university-educated person in my family, and was expected to have a bright and wealthy future as a well-known QC. After a life-changing experience I discovered my calling in the public service. This blog is a record of my journey through life, discovering who I am, one fashion magazine, one cupcake, and one asana at a time.

Why cupcakes, fashion magazines and asanas?

Well...it's a long story, and one I hope to unravel along the way. The truth of the matter is that I am a self-confessed fashion and makeup junkie who spends all that I earn (and sometimes far, far more than what I earn) on clothes, magazines, makeup and coffees-with the occasional green tea and chai latte thrown in for good measure.

I am, if I say so myself, premium 1950's housewife material- I cook meals, clean and bake cakes like it's going out of style. I was raised by a decidedly feminist mother and the antithetical chauvinist father- who while he loves me very very dearly, has marked ideas about what is and isn't appropriate for females. For example, it is appropriate to become a lawyer or doctor, it is not appropriate to go into trade or blue-collar professions. Let me explain this- my father is not a snob, he is a man who has clawed tooth and nail for everything he has in his life, and doesn't want his princess to have to do the same. I respect his ideals- except when they interfere in my life.

You can imagine the drama I went through in order to get myself into the "public service", no?

Finally- the asanas. You may be aware that an asana is a movement or motion in yogic practice. I am a yoga addict as well. I think the first thing you'll notice about my personality is that there is very little "grey area". I will either love something and practice, research and talk about it until I bore everyone to tears, or I hate it with the passion of a thousand dying suns.

More information to come....